


There and (hopefully) back again - A bagpacking story

by protisvit



Series: Modern Mayhem [2]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Decisions, Banter, Celegorm is a Steve Irwin fanboy, Chaos cousins backpacking Australia, Friendship, Gen, House of Finwe- A sitcom, Humor, In this universe Nerdanel drives the family van because Feanor has too much road rage, Making bets about your siblings likely misfortunes, Some of which turn out to be good decisions, this was written listening exclusively to the mamma mia 2 soundtrack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protisvit/pseuds/protisvit
Summary: There were many bets on what Celegorm would bring home from his trip. Level 2 sunburns, an illegally smuggled koala, an STD and even an illegitimate child where some of the picks. The reality, as always, is even more unbelievable.(Aredhel claims it must have been her good influence. It really wasn’t.)
Relationships: Aredhel & Celegorm | Turcafinwë, Fëanor | Curufinwë/Nerdanel
Series: Modern Mayhem [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935262
Comments: 19
Kudos: 39





	There and (hopefully) back again - A bagpacking story

There’s a battered minivan pulling into the parking space at London Heathrow.

“Are you _sure_ this is a good idea?” the dark haired man in the passenger seat whispers to his wife, not for the first time, if her facial expression is any indication.

“If you want an honest answer, then _no,_ ” she hisses back, pulling out the key from the ignition as 3 boys, one blonde and two dark haired, start climbing out of the car with varying degrees of enthusiasm. 

”I wouldn’t call Celegorm and Aredhel camping out in the backyard for a weekend a good idea, not to mention them backpacking _Australia_ of all places. But they’re both of age, so there’s not much we can do about it.”

“We didn’t have to fund half of their budget.“

“Oh, they would’ve found a way and you know it. Or they would have just gone without appropriate funding and god knows what would happen!”

An apprehensive silence settles over the car.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Feanor tries again and Nerdanel isn’t sure if he is trying to convince her or himself. “We were their age when we travelled Europe after all, and we came out fine.”

“And when you say ‘fine’, are you talking about the time we nearly got arrested by the KGB in Prague or when we had to leave Sicily by night because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut and told that Mafia boss to ‘get off your lawn’?”

“I think they called them StB in Czechoslovakia-“

“Not the _point_.“

Feanor winces. “What I mean is,” he backpedals “that we were fine in the end, so I’m sure-”

But before he can finish the sentence there’s an impatient knock on the car window and the two adults exchange a resigned sigh before finally exiting the vehicle and following their sons into the airport.

Meanwhile at the check-in, another group of people is waiting for the newcomers.

“Now, Aredhel, remember that only because your skin is dark, doesn’t mean you can’t get sunburned!”

“Mum, I kno-“

“Or worse, cancer! There is a massive hole in the ozone layer above Australia, I need you to be aware of that. It’s easy to just enjoy the sun and then wake up 20 years later to a third stage melanoma! Don’t forget the pictures I showed you!”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to,” Aredhel mumbles under her breath, looking slightly faint at the memory.

Finally her father saves her, but only to voice his own worries, that mainly involve a wide array of numbers. Phone numbers to be precise.

“Now, you should have enough money on your card, but if you run out, don’t hesitate to ask and we’ll send you more. I know we said you have a budget, but we also don’t want you to sleep under a bridge! And do you have the number of your bank in your phone? Just in case your card gets stolen.”

“Yes, Dad.”

“What about the the British Embassy in case you run into trouble?”

“Of course, Dad.”

“Do you know the Australian emergency number?”

“Yup.”

“Do you have mine or your mother’s phone number memorised, in case you can’t use your phone?”

“Since I was 5.”

“But remember you need to use the area code.”

“What’s an area code?”

“Aredhel!”

“I’m kidding! Jesus… You know contrary to popular opinion I’m not entirely useless.”

Fingolfin looks affronted.“I never said-!“ he begins but his daughter is quick to put a hand on his arm and smiles. “I know, I was only joking. We’ll be fine, okay? Trust me.”

Her father smiles back warmly and pulls her into a hug.

“I know,” he mumbles into her dark hair, “but what kind of father would I be if I didn’t worry about my little girl going out into the big world by herself.”

“Not by myself exactly.”

“That’s even less reassuring given your company.”

Aredhel only snorts but tightens her grip on her father a little bit.

“I’ll miss you, too, dad.”

She only lets go once she hears her cousin-and-travel-partner approaching.

The goodbye between Celegorm and his parents consists of much more quick and firm advice.

“ _Don’t try to fight a kangaroo,_ ” Nerdanel says, fixing her son with a stern stare.

“And stay away from the venomous animals- I _know_ you know which ones they are!”Feanor adds, cutting off his son’s decidedly innocent objection before it even leaves his mouth.His face is caught somewhere between fondness and exasperation.

“You got it,” the boy in question only replies, in a tone entirely to careless to be taken seriously, “but you also have to keep your promise to schedule Skype calls with Huan every week. And don’t forget to tell him I love him everyday or he’ll think I forgot about him!”

His parents’ smile turns slightly strained and Caranthir coughs in his hand in a poor attempt of disguising his laughter, earning himself a glare from his older- and an eye-roll from his younger brother. 

After some more-or-less-short goodbye hugs (and an offered handshake from Curufin, that Celegorm disregards with a laugh as he pulls his little brother into a headlock-turned-hug), he, too is free to go.

They are starting to walk away from their families and towards security, when Celegorm turns to his cousin with a wide grin asks in a little too loud voice:“Hey, so why’s your dad asking about the emergency number in Australia? Everyone learns in primary that it’s 999. Same everywhere, right?”

They walk a little faster, grinning madly as Feanor behind them makes a noise like a wounded animal, followed by a loud “Celegorm! Come back here, we changed our mind, you’re staying!”

He is quickly drowned out by his fourth son’s:“Don’t listen to him, we have total faith in you. Have a great time!” 

Behind security Celegorm turns back, grins and waves one last time.

“There’s a 30% chance they’ll both die,” Caranthir says once they’re out of sight and Turgon only nods gravely, for once not correcting his cousin’s estimate.

* * *

**SYDNEY some long hours later**

Two teenagers with large backpacks face the Sydney harbour. Before them the city’s residents hurry home from their jobs or call out to friends they are meeting, the famous opera backing the daily scene.

“It looks….different from what I imagined,” the boy begins, eyeing his surroundings critically.

The girl next to him throws her hands in the air.“I _told_ you not everyone would be wearing khaki shorts.”

“It’s a good look!”

“Literally no-one thinks that.”

“Well, the people I’m concerned with do.”

“Not everyone is Steve Irwin, Celegorm.”

The blonde boy sighs regretfully.

“Shame. The world would be a better place. But anyway, we’re here and you know what that means.”

His cousins only grins and they high five.“3 months of freedom baby!”

They make it 3 weeks.

“I can’t believe this! How can my card be declined already?!”

Celegorm stares at the ATM accusingly. They have been in Brisbane for a few days now, after hitch hiking up the coast from their place of arrival. “It must be those Australian machines. They’re rigged I’m telling ya!”

“Well, you did give that didgeridoo player a 50…“ Aredhel supplies unhelpfully.

“I didn’t mean to! I thought it was a fiver!”

“Even that fiver he wouldn’t have deserved. Honestly, who plays didgeridoo to dub step?”

“I won that 50 back when I won that Vegemite bet, though.” He can’t suppress the slight shudder that runs through him at the memory. Yes, he had won his money back, but at what cost? At least he was set on Vitamin B for life. He should probably go easy on the salt for the next few years, though.

“True. But then you proceeded to buy a 1 kg Vegemite jar to express ship home to Caranthir as a - and I quote- ‘exotic alternative’ to Marmite.”

“You should see him, he eats that stuff like Nutella, it’s scary. Even dad thinks so.”

“Tyelko, you absolute egg you could have just gotten him a bucket at Tesco’s!”

“Wouldn’t have been the same though-“

“Not to mention we spent two whole days in Australia Zoo and you spent nearly a hundred bucks in the zoo shop.”

“And I would do it again.”

“I know,” his cousin pats his head, her expression walking the thin line between fondness and condescension, “but you have to admit, you are an irresponsible spender.”

Celegorm bristles.

“Oh because you are so much better, Miss ‘We’ll just have one more drink it’s not even that expensive’!”

“I didn’t have that many!”

“No, you just kept insisting to buy everyone you fancied one as well.”

Aredhel grins. “Yeah, and you know it served me well.”

“Talking about _serving_ …hmm, what does that remind me of?” he says, putting his hand to his chin in a gesture of mock contemplation. ”Ah yes, _surfing._ You know the thing where you paid for extra private lessons because you had the hots for the teacher? How did that work out for you?”

The accusation doesn’t seem to have the desired however, because Aredhel’s grin only widens. “Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy.”

“And not to mention your entire new wardrobe,” Celegorm continues.

“Oh come on, those were necessary items! All of my clothes got dirty really fast!”

“Which is really surprising with white clothing.”

“Don’t try to be sarcastic, it doesn’t suit you.”

“Well, then show me your account balance.”They stare at each other for a split second, before Aredhel gives in.“Fine,” she says and Celegorm watches as his cousin inserts her card into the slot. There is a moment of silence and then: “ _42 pounds?!_ _How?!”_

She rests her head against the wall in defeat.

Her travel partner in the meantime, is torn between the sweet satisfaction of being proven right and the unpleasant realisation that they are now really, truly, officially fucked.

“The good news is, that’s over 70 Australian dollars,” he offers.

Aredhel looks up at him from her half crumbled position. “The only good news I’m getting from this is, that at least the year of my life I spent tutoring you in maths wasn’t totally wasted.”

“Tutoring? You just let me copy your homework.“

“Same thing.” She groans. “Shit. What do we do now?”

Eventually they do what everyone does when faced with a problem they urgently need to solve. They go and get some food.

“I kinda regret sending that Vegemite jar away,” Celegorm mumbles through two bites of his bland piece of bread.

“And I’m regretting not taking those little jam packets from the hostel this morning… never thought how much I would appreciate a mediocre hostel breakfast…”

They sink into quiet agreement, both imagining their favourite bread toppings, before Aredhel speaks up again.

“Right. Now. A plan. Any ideas?”

“Well, I’m definitely not asking my dad for money, that’s for sure.”

“What? Why!”

“Are you kidding? You’ve met my father, right? He told me specifically that this is the budget he would give us and not a penny more. Not spoiling his children and all that. He’d never let me hear the end of it! Also I’m pretty sure my brothers made bets on how long it would take us to go broke and I’m not letting ANY of them win.”

“Well, this is kind of an emergency!”

“They why don’t you ask your own Dad!”

“And never let him take me seriously again? Hell no, this is my one chance to prove to him I can be an independent, responsible adult and-“

“And look how well that is going.” Celegorm interrupts, but is shut down very quickly.

“- _and”_ Aredhel’s eyes are dangerously narrow. “-and if my father knows, the rest of the family knows as well and what Fingon knows-“

“Maedhros knows,” Celegorm finishes in horror. “Well,” he concludes, “We’ll just have to make some money here.”

“And what’s your genius idea?”His cousin has resorted to ripping away at the cheap white bread in her hands until they are filled with pieces of what looks like very soft styrofoam. “Selling your body on the streets?”

“I would get a good price.”

“You’re wearing dirty khakis and your hair is so bleached out it’s basically white.”

“Some people might be into the elderly ranger look.”

Aredhel shoves the disassembled bread into her mouth and swallows heavily. “S _ome people_ should lay off the peroxide before it gets into their head.”

They are walking past a local zoo when Celegorm suddenly stops and stares at the brightly painted sign, a grin spreading on his sun burned face.

“In that case,“ he exclaims happily, “the peroxide has given me a great idea.”

* * *

“You realise we’re probably gonna get arrested for this.”

“If we get arrested they’ll just give us a place to sleep and some food for the night and then maybe put us on a flight home. It’s win, win if you ask me.”

Aredhel thinks this through for a second and then raises her eyebrows and pulls a quick grimace. She nods once. “You thought this through, I am impressed.”

Her eyes scan the admission prices written in bright green colour on a sign next to the entrance. If they’d put all their money together they would just about manage two buy two tickets, but that would leave them with a total of 3 dollars and she was not going to risk that.“Now how do we get in?”

Celegorm scratches his head and Aredhel sighs. “I take back everything I said about you thinking this through.”

Then her gaze falls on the group of people in front of her and she smirks.

“Tyelko, how many people fit on a school group ticket?” she asks in her best teacher voice.

Celegorm eyes flicker to the admission prices. “Umm, 25?”

“And how many people do you see in that group over there?”

He follows her gaze, a grin gradually forming on his lips.

“Irisse,” he says slowly, ”this is why together we are unstoppable.”

Fortunately for the two teens, it seems to be high season for zoo visits, and so they manage to sneak in with the third class in a row that the bored college age employee waves through the entrance gate.

They follow behind them until they disappear from view behind a bend, and then stop next to the wombat enclosure. It seems to be a special feeding time, because a young woman is stepping into the area carrying a bucket with vegetables, talking loudly to a group of people going in behind her.

“Do you see what I’m seeing?” Aredhel asks, upon laying eyes on the khaki trousers and grey shirt of the zoo employee.

Her cousin next to her, dressed in a notably similar fashion of khaki pants and shirt, smirks.

“Fate is on our side today.”

They walk around the zoo a few times, familiarising themselves with the layout and reading through some of the info signs. Or at least, Aredhel is reading them. Celegorm insists he knows all these ‘insultingly basic information’ already and for once she isn’t inclined to disagree with him on this. She is however very inclined to tell him about the goose bumps she just got, because for a split second, she got the impression she’d accidentally taken Curufin with her to Australia. Celegorm boxes her arm for that.

Finally, after taking mental notes of the location of the “petting” enclosures that will allow access to the animals, they decide to set their plan in motion in front of the cockatoos. Assorted here are multiple benches, where people gather to take a little break between all the walking or have a picnic, and also a sign that marks the gathering spot for guided tours.

Checking there are no actual guides about to begin their tour, Celegorm positions himself in front of it. Aredhel assumes her positions a few metres away.

Once they spot a group of people coming into hearing range, she approaches her cousin-turned-unfamiliar-tour-guide and the show begins.

“Hey! Are you doing the special tours they wrote about in the paper? My friends couldn’t stop talking about them and I’ve been trying to get a free spot for ages!”

Her voice is a bit louder than strictly necessary, but the group draws closer, clearly curious.

‘Hooked and latched,’ she thinks, resisting the urge to give herself a pat on the shoulder. Maybe she should try out an acting career after all.

She is not the only one with a hidden talent however because Celegorm, as it turns out, makes an excellent tour guide.

His faked Australian accent is admittedly terrible, but he’s knowledgeable to a point that surprises even Aredhel (who’s well aware of his wildlife obsession), effortlessly entertaining and charming to a fault. Though the most surprising part is the way the animals react to him.

“Now,” he addresses the group around him, coming to a halt in front of the last site of the tour. “You all probably thought this tour was just about me teaching you about our wild beauties around here, but as I always say: ’The best way to learn about someone, is to become friends with them’.”He flashes them all a winning smile.

“And that works for your human friends as much as it does for our boxing buddies over here! Follow me and I’ll show you!”

“What are you doing?” Aredhel hisses to him as they enter the wide, open area that is home to the zoo’s kangaroos. “Your mum _literally_ told you not to fight the kangaroos!”

“I’m not trying to fight them,” he hisses back, motioning to their small group of tour guests to follow behind them, “I’m trying to befriend them.”

“Which for you is one and the same.”

“It’ll be fine,“ Celegorm waves her off. “Animals love me. Trust me.”

‘Dogs and cats and chicken are one thing,’ Aredhel wants to say, ‘but these are muscle packed kangaroos that can break all the bones in your body with a single kick.’

But there is something in her cousin’s posture, something that’s far away from his usual recklessness and devil-may-care attitude and so she keeps quiet.

She isn’t disappointed. The kangaroos love him.

He pairs off every visitor with a suitable kangaroo and manages to expertly smooth over any budding conflict between an over enthusiastic tour guest and his distrustful animal counterpart before it can arise.

His own animal partner looks a bit snobby at first, and immediately advances in Celegorm’s direction with a combative jump that has Aredhel hold her breath, but five minutes later the two of them are already involved in a playful fight (or what Aredhel really, _really_ hopes is a playful fight, because she does not want to be the person, who has to make _that_ call to aunt Nerdanel).

Another five minutes pass and - “Wait, is that…. a _jumping competition_?” she mumbles under her breath as the other guests clap and laugh delightedly at their “tour guide’s” shenanigans. “Tyelko you crazy Dolittle.”

When it is time to collect the tips, she prepares to go first as agreed and set an example by dropping a generous 30$ into her cousin’s dusty baseball cap, but as it turns, she doesn’t need to bother.

Two middle aged women, two and three children trailing behind them respectively, beat her to the punch, wallets out and enthusiastic smiles on their lips. The rest of the group is not far behind and some people even promise to recommend them to their friends.

The baseball cap is stuffed with dollar notes when the guests disperse and Celegorm looks like the Cheshire cat, while Aredhel seems somewhat thunderstruck.

“Well praise your bleach soaked brain, I can’t believe that actually worked,” she mutters and her cousin elbows her playfully in the side, smile still stretched from one ear to another.

“Told you the elderly ranger look was a good idea. Now let me check how much money-“

“Impressive,” suddenly comes a new voice from behind them. They both freeze.

“Draugluin over there is known as our little problem child, and you handled him like a pro. Usually I’m the only one he allows to pet him, but with you he was playful like an overexcited Golden Retriever. Tell me-” Dark eyes are fixed on Celegorm. “What’s your secret?”

The man in front of them is tall, muscly and dressed in the zoo approved khaki and t-shirtcombo. He also does not look like someone you want to cross.

“I- eh- you know I’m just- good with them?” Celegorm supplies, for once at loss for words.

“And the tour as well!” the stranger continues, “Very informative. Great preparation, must have taken quite a while.”

“Not really, just basic facts. You know, the usual stuff.” Celegorm seems to have found his composure again, now that there seems to be a chance they might actually get out of this-

“The only thing I’m confused about is, why you’re doing special tours to befriend the kangaroos if you don’t actually work here.”

\- or not.

The two culprits blanch and for a long moment, they and the strange man just stare at each other in horror and expectation respectively. Their expressions must have made quite the picture, because all of a sudden the man starts laughing.

“Don’t worry,” he says and the tension drains out of the air, “To be honest, I’m so impressed with your performance, I’ll let this whole stunt slide if you just tell me how you got this crazy idea.” He holds out a large hand. “I’m Orome by the way.”

* * *

A few hours later on the literal other end of the world, a phone rings.

“Tyelko? How nice of you to call! Is everything alright?”

Nerdanel listens and then looks around the table where her family is seated. “No- no we’re just having breakfast, yes everyone’s here why-?”

“I thought Celegorm was supposed to call us tomorrow, did something-“ Feanor speaks up but his wife shushes him, nodding along to something said through the phone, while her eyebrows are slowly rising higher and higher. Suddenly she lets out a gasp.

“No!”

Her husband looks alarmed, but calms down when he finds no sign of distress in her surprised expression.

“Tyelko that’s- really? Until summer! No of course, I understand that it’s just- no you’re right. Oh Tyelko that’s wonderful!” She smiles widely at her husband, who looks back curiously, mouthing a silent ‘What?’.

“I’m so proud of you- wait I’ll put you on speakerphone so you can-oh- oh of course, no I understand, don’t keep her waiting, we’ll talk more tomorrow. Thank you for calling, everyone says hi- yes Huan, too- yes- have fun you two! Say hi to Aredhel! Talk to you to tomorrow, bye darling- bye!”

She puts her phone away.

“So,” Caranthir breaks the silence first. “What was that all about?”

“I, too would very much like to know that,” his father agrees.

Nerdanel smoothes out her napkin. “Well,” she says slowly, addressing her teenaged son, “it seems that you and your brothers have all lost your little bet.”

“What!”

“That seems to be a very premature assessment, given that Tyelko isn’t, in fact, back yet.” Curufin chimes in. “He isn’t is he?”

Before his mother can answer Caranthir speaks up again. “You know about the bet??”

Feanor raises his eyebrows at him. “Contrary to what seems to be the popular belief, your mother and I are neither stupid nor deaf-“

(“I would never suggest either of that!”

“We know, Curvo, your father is only joking.”)

“-of course we know about your bet. Your mother and I even-“ a swift kick under the table silences him before he can finish the sentence. His wife only smiles sweetly.

“What bet?” sounds a childish voice from the other side of the table.

“Yeah, we wanna bet, too!” agrees a second, very similar sounding voice enthusiastically.

“Maybe when you’re older,” Nerdanel tells the twins, quelling all their protest with a swift follow up of “Now don’t you want to know your brother’s big news?”

The Ambarussa agree enthusiastically, their eyes sparkling in anticipation of the news from their adored big brother.

“ _Big news,”_ Caranthir mumbles under his breath, “that sounds like my theory of an illegitimate child might be true after all.”

“Don’t be stupid,” his brother next to him hisses back, “mum just said we _all_ lost. Plus, she said she was proud of him over the phone and I really doubt she’d say that if he-“

He is interrupted by his father loudly clearing his throat.

“Now, could we please all be quiet, so your mother can tell us what’s going on? I, for once, would _really_ like to know.”

His wife pats him on the arm fondly. “Patience my dear. I’m getting there. You have all lost your bet, because what your brother will be bringing home from Australia-” she looks around the table, enjoying the poorly hidden suspense on everyone’s faces, before continuing “- is a job.”

Baffled silence fills the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I thought I heard the word ‘ _job_ ’.”Nerdanel boxes her husband on the arm. 

“Have a bit of faith in your son. You heard correctly.”

“But… _how?”_ Caranthir demands at the same time that Amras cries “So cool! What job?” and Amrod asks quietly “Does that mean he won’t come back here?”

“Oh no, darling,” their mother calms the elder twin, “the job is here. Well not _here_ here of course, but still in the country. Apparently, the director of a zoo they were at plans to open a new wildlife reserve up North- he seems to be from somewhere around there originally- and asked Tyelko if he wanted to work for him.”

The twins seems content with this new information and downright excited for their brother’s new prospects but Feanor looks critical. “That seems…sudden.”

His wife shrugs. “He said, he was impressed with how he handled the kangaroos and how knowledgeable he was as a tour guide-“

“Tour guide?”

“I didn’t ask. He can tell us all about it, tomorrow. Then you can grill him for the details all you want.” This seems to placate him and Nerdanel continues.

“There’s one more thing, though,” she says and immediately all eyes turn to her again.

“Tyelko decided to prolong his stay in Australia until next summer.”

Her husband nearly drops his coffee cup. “ _What?”_

“The project here won’t start before next year and apparently Orome- that’s the zoo director’s name- _“_

Even as she speak, Nerdanel can see her husband filing that information away in his brain. She is sure he will know the man’s entire life story before the end of the day, as well as that of his parents and possibly other close associates.

“-has offered Tyelko a job at the zoo and wants to get him involved in the wildlife conservation work they do in Australia, so he has some training in that field before he comes back. Which _I think-”_ she says with a pointed look at her husband “-is a very sensible idea and a more than valid reason to change one’s plans and reschedule a plane ticket.”

After a long moment of continuous eye-contact Feanor sighs. “I guess you’re right. I imagine he must be excited.”

“Oh you should have heard him,” his wife chuckles, “Over the moon. I could hardly get a complete sentence out of him, and then of course Aredhel dragged him right off to celebrate. I really hope they don’t overdo it tonight.”

“Wouldn’t count on it,” her husband mutters between two sips of coffee.

For a while, only the noise of knives scraping on toast and mugs being clumsily set on the table fills the kitchen, before Curufin speaks up again.

“You know,” he says offhandedly, “I truly think this wonderful. Tyelko will get to experience Australia for more than just one season. Especially November through February must be lovely. Perfect summer weather for his work outside. No rain, no clouds, just pure, unfiltered-“He reaches for the jam. “ _-sunshine_.”

Once every inch of bread is meticulously covered in the fruit-preserve, he starts to raise the toast towards his slyly smirking lips.

His chances of winning had just increased exponentially.

**Author's Note:**

> From the description and his last lines, who can guess what Curvo bet on? :)  
> Also plus points to everyone who caught the Parks & Rec reference.
> 
> I had the whole conversation leading to the job offer written out, but I felt like it destroyed the flow of the story so I cut it and put the breakfast scene instead. Orome’s background (involving his dancer sister, her MMA boyfriend and his chickenfarmer-turned-eagle-enthusiast-uncle with his astrophysicist wife) will have to wait for another time.
> 
> Anyway, this was supposed to be another sitcom chapter, but it kinda got out of hand and now it’s nearly 5k, so I felt like it deserved its own connected story. Also it evolved into something different in tone from the other short crack chapters, so I thought it might as well be the first story of the 'Modern Mayhem' universe I’d like to create piece by piece. Still very much in a humorous style (meaning no violent deaths and mostly fun) but also a bit more balanced, perhaps even with actual plot lines. :)  
> The original ‘House of Finwe-A sitcom’ one shot collection will be reserved for its original purpose- short crackshots in no particular order, for my own amusement and stress relief.
> 
> That's all from me, I hope you had some fun reading this. Leave a kudo and a comment I'll love you forever!


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